Tater-Tot-Tutoring-Homeschool: Perry Goes to the Dentist

I know Perry so well; I can tell when something is wrong. When he’s nervous about something, he does, what he calls, his “walkabouts.” Usually, this is when he walks around the perimeter of the classroom, play yard, or parks. He will be “scripting” from some story or video to calm himself. His behavior toward other staff and peers becomes very rude and refuses to follow directions. He ended up losing the privilege of going out into the community one day because he was so rude and disrespectful to his morning therapist. He kept coming to me, asking me to talk to his therapist and allow him to go out. I explained to him that I don’t work with him until noon and will not disregard his morning therapist’s call on his behavior. When it was noon, he asked me if we could go out to the library. His classroom teacher asked him to clean up his table and wipe it down. He became agitated and began yelling. Once again, he tried to use me to override another person’s authority by telling the teacher that, “His therapist (me) is in charge.” This needed to be nipped in the bud, and fast. I supported the teacher in the request, so Perry yelled he’s not doing it, and determinedly sat down at his table.  

I gave him a few minutes to calm down. I offered three choices; to do some drawing, read a book, or clean up his area, and owe me fifteen minutes for his behavior before going to the library.  He repeatedly said he wanted to go to the library but wouldn’t clean his table.  So, I gave him a couple of pieces of paper and told him I wanted him to draw a picture for me. He used a grumpy tone, saying he didn’t know what to draw.  I asked him to draw a picture of what he’s so upset about and what’s going on in his heart, after he’s finished, we’d talk about it.  He got to straight to work on his drawing. When he finished, I asked him to explain who was in each picture and what was happening.  I learned several things that day. Perry is an incredibly good artist for the character’s he creates. He puts a lot of expression in their faces and body gestures. For Perry, I learned that if he draws his feelings, anger, or fears, he can better explain it calmly when he’s finished. If people keep grilling him what’s wrong several times, he becomes more agitated and then yells at them, “leave me alone.”

Perry’s drawings were very expressive. He was able to tell me what was bothering him and why. He had an orthodontist appointment at the end of the week and was freaking out about it. He was scared and was angry at his mom. I noticed the anger in the character representing him and said, “I can see you’re really upset with her. May I add one little thing to this drawing?” He gave his permission. I drew a few tears on her cheeks. He asked me why I did that. I explained that his mom was hurt because you weren’t being nice to her. She just wants to help you” I said. I assumed he was mad at her because she was “forcing him to go” but with a few gentle questions he explained that he didn’t think she really cared about him. “When I tell her I’m really scared, she responds by saying she’s not worried about and he doesn’t need to worry about it either.” My childhood memories flooded my mind and I intuitively knew what he was saying. He wanted to have his feelings recognized, he wanted comfort. “She just doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand me like you do.”

 I made a copy of his drawing and gave it to his mom. I explained each picture and what he shared with me. One picture showed the dentist with a screwdriver. I asked him what he was doing. Perry told me he didn’t want to have the dentist put holes in his teeth to keep the braces on. WOW!  Apparently, nobody had explained the process

My point in this story is to show how I throw out all the, “tough love” strategies and reach the person in whatever way works. With Perry, he loves to draw, so I used that strategy to have him make a social story for me. I had two days to put a plan together.

The day before the appointment, he and I had a great afternoon. We talked about the dentist quite a bit and what he feared most. I reassured him I’d be there with him and I won’t let anyone hurt him.

The next afternoon, I met he and his mom in the parking lot. I had a surprise for him that I was certain would make a difference in his behavior.  I pulled out a stroller and put my bulldog Ruby in it.  He loves Ruby. He was so excited to see her. I told him she was there to give him comfort.

Perry was outstanding. He was calm and wanted to tell everyone in the office about Ruby. She sat in her stroller and watched the entire procedure (just ex-rays).  He kept reassuring Ruby that he was ok. Not to worry because he was brave.

After the appointment, I took him out for ice cream. He thanked me three times for bringing Ruby and being there for him. 

Next week, the braces go on his teeth. I asked him if he thought he’d be ok and he said, “probably, but you better bring Ruby just in case.”